Tough love often isn’t love — it’s selfish, superior bullshit.
When people use tough love, they are often doing so out of a selfish motivation to get the other person to behave in a certain way. It’s not real love — it’s a basic strategy — though it’s a shoddy one at best.
We all know that people aren’t projects or problems, yet we often treat them like that anyway.
The people promoting tough love have expectations and final outcomes in mind. Most of these outcomes benefit the person in authority, and genuinely cause great mental and emotional stress for the person receiving the tough love.
The world is tough enough.
We all live in the same tough world, and we will all have our moments when the world tears us down because it’s just another normal day.
I am a firm believer that there’s no reason to be the ones to tear our kids, or anyone else down to teach a lesson. We don’t need tough love.
What we all need is a soft place where we are loved, accepted, supported, and free to follow our dreams. A place of recovery for those times when the world is so damn tough.
Really and truly, the world is hard enough that none of us will ever need the responsibility of making anyone else’s life harder.
So let’s drop the tough love bit and instead start meeting people from where they’re at.